Letting Myself Be Loved By G-d Is The Most Important Reality Of My Life

I am more than aware of my past.
My mistakes
My screw ups.
My failures.
My short comings.

But I've declared and decided in 2012
That my past no longer imprisons me.
I will no longer hold myself against
the previous errors of my ways.

I will no longer allow the scrutinizing gestures, comments, remarks
to dig into old wounds.

For the first time, in a long time, G-d has given me an excitement
and I have allowed myself to receive it.

Our story is full of brokenness, poor choices, bad circumstances,
sin, and regret.

But we have clung, sometimes by a thread, that G-d is a G-d of restoration, of healing
and despite our nature has chosen to love us with a raging fury.
And despite the mess we have made of ourselves
He asks us:
"Don't you trust Me when I've told you:
I who began a good work in your, will see it to completion?"

My child, you are mine and you are not done until I call you home.
Don't call Me a liar when you say with your lips, "your sin is forgiven" but still feel
like I have nothing for you because of your broken human nature.

It is by My power and My grace that you are made whole.
It is by My love that I equip you to go forth....


~~~

"Say among the nations, "The Lord reigns"

 

Ps. 95:10

Another Word For Frustration.

If you're not a gamer you won't fully appreciate this post, my apologies. I've recently been playing Dead Island, it's come in handy this weekend as I've had an eye infection and haven't felt like leaving the house much because I wear thick glasses and feel self conscious in them because I can't help but feel like I look like this guy..

So I've become addicted ambitious with this game.  For those of you who don't know, Left 4 Dead, Borderlands, Fall Out, Dead Rising, ahem, Dead Island, is another zombie apocalypse game. It has the co op of 4 players and the theme of Left 4 Dead, the open exploration of Fall Out, the fast travel and leveling up of Borderlands and the plot line (kinda) of Dead Rising.  

And then I started playing it, and I love this game.  And I hate this game.  I love this game.... and then I hate it.  It's a tumultuous relationship.

Without giving too much away, here's some things that grind my gears:

·         The only ways to fight zombies without taking ridiculous amounts of damage are to shoot them (which takes a sometimes five headshots, even with a shotgun), burn/explode them with gas tanks and molotovs (never enough of these), or jump-kick them in the face and occasionally rekick them down until every zombie in a two block radius is on the ground at your feet, then proceed to kick them to death/curbstomp them one by one. This is not fun.

·         Opening luggage to let me see what's inside, then making me hit the button again to pick it up. Luggage contains one of two things... cash, or mod materials, so when I open one, if there's anything there, there's no need to slow me down.

·         Picking things up makes you stand up, sometimes in places where you really don't want to stand up. This is silly.

·         Health items. I spend most of my time standing around chewing, because at this point, I'd have to eat 20 apples to fill up my health. In a game where a single swipe from a zombie takes off two or three health bars, this means I spend way too much time eating.

·         Core crafting items are often too hard to find. It's hilarious to me that somehow the traders have an infinite supply of healing items and ammo, but it takes them forever to actually get ahold of a piece of wire.

·         Weapon durability. I would like my weapons to last for more than three swings.

·         NPCs should follow me, not the other way around. I'm lookin' at you, Kwan's brother. You know the shorter route through the alley would have prevented me from having to fight a thug and five zombies,and it's a more direct and shorter damn route.

·         I can sprint for two blocks or swing my machete twice before I collapse in a panting heap, and I'm playing as the former ninja chick. Don't be ridiculous.

·         Propane tanks are not filled with lead. There is no reason I have to slow down to half speed because I am carrying 38.5 pounds (17.4 kilos), which is what a completely full tank weighs.

·         A headshot with any gun should take any common zombie down. Having to pump ten rounds point blank into the skull of a zombie is just derptastic.

·         Three words: Rear View Mirror

·         How is it even remotely possible to gain $50,000 in loose cash laying about but somehow duct tape is some rare, outlandish resource?

Because Illegal Would Be Bad Publicity

I'm in Atlanta.

Go figure.

I Want To Punch Him In The Face And Then Have His Babies

 

This has been my new favorite thing to watch at night.

Granted I have to watch it with an this handy dandy contraption.

Overall it's piss poor imagery of marriagehumandecencyethics.

But for the most part it's my guilty pleasure.

I'd still smack some sense into him though...