Chapter 13 leads off with this:
The following day, I call my mom when I'm home from work. It's been a relatively peaceful day at the Clayton's, allowing me far too much time to think. I'm restless, nervous about my showdown with Mr. Control Freak tomorrow, and at the back of my mind, I'm worried that perhaps I've been too negative in my response to the contract. Perhaps he'll call the whole thing off.
So I can already tell how this chapter is going to go... inner turmoil and angst, here we go. First it was about not signing the contract, NOW it's about the fact that she hasn't she may have blown it.
She's blown her chance to enter into a "relationship" based solely on the man's terms.
Ana's mom isn't going to be able to attend Ana's graduation because Bob the Boyfriend twisted he ankle, or knee, or something. I don't know, I just though what a shitty excuse to miss your kids graduation; heart attack? Cancer? Plausible. Hello, there are crutches and you're not dying. You could have made it. But really this plot is here for two reason:
* To make the reader feel bad for Ana because we have to like her.
* The author doesn't have to write another person into the plot thus taking attention off the walking erection.
After that pointless phone call, Ana checks her e-mail and Christian, instead of really taking into consideration her concerns he responds with a pissy definition of what "submissive" means. (THIS GUY!) So Ana retorts back with a definition of "compromise."
HA. That's funny... nowhere in any of this book has there been compromise, ever. It's his way or no way, seriously, why is this even being brought up? Oh that's right, to feed into the false sense that a fairy tale ending is plausible (I haven't read the next 2 books, but my money is on they get married... they have kids... and somehow Mrs. Robinson is a bigger plot point. Please let me know if I'm right.)
They argue over whether or not he's going to pick her up, or she's driving... because she wants a means of escape. WOOHOO! Fight or flight more initiated.
Kate and Ana keep packing up their apartment and drinking. Can I just interject here. Why is it in almost every chapter Ana is drinking? Can she not get through a day without it? If Ana had taken a water bottle on her "jog" I'd bet money it was vodka. I'm all for alcohol, but seriously, limits and moderation people. Damn...
After work, where Ana is pursued by Paul... who is this guy? He's only shown up like twice. Oh right... he's there to show that Christian is more the gentleman because he'd rather
Anyway, after work, Ana changes into one of the dresses that Kate has left behind for her and gussies herself up while comparing herself to literary heroes. I'm pretty sure literary heroes never signed a sex contract... but what do I know?
When Ana arrives at the bar for Christian's date, she has successfully completed her 1 hour sober chip, but that's thrown out the window because Christian orders her wine. The both confess to being nervous... well I for one, call bull shit on that. No way Christian's nervous. He's in control. I do not see him as "nervous."
They bring up the "un-enforceable non-legal contract" where Christian states this epiphany:
"You'd think I'd coerce you into something you don't want to do, and then pretend that I have a legal hold over you?"
Yes Christian, yes I do, you inconsiderate, arrogant, fuck. You made her sign what seems to me to be a legally enforceable non-disclosure agreement (anyone want to confirm or debunk my suspicions), you made a big deal about needing her signature, the whole thing is written in pseudo-legalese, and you never once told her that it wasn't a legal document, she had to find that out for herself. So yes, Christian. That is exactly what you were doing, you creepy, creepy rapist. He dances around that point with a lot of bullshit about trust:
"Anastasia, it doesn't matter if it's legal or not. It represents an arrangement that I would like to make with you - what I would like from you and what you can expect from me. If you don't like it, then don't sign. If you do sign, and then decide you don't like it, there are enough get-out clauses so you can walk away. Even if it were legally binding, do you think I'd drag you through the courts if you did decide to run?" I take a long draft of my wine. My subconscious taps me hard on the shoulder. You must keep your wits about you. Don't drink too much.
For one, the only real "get out clause" is that it's not a legal document, you dick. The fact he's trying to make it sound all official and important is because apparently his penis is just that important. It needs insurance. This chapter, every time he opened his mouth, I hated him even more.
"Relationships like this are built on honesty and trust," he continues. "If you don't trust me - trust me to know how I'm affecting you, how far I can go with you, how far I can take you - if you can't be honest with me, then we really can't do this." Oh my, we've cut to the chase quickly. How far he can take me. Holy shit. What does that mean?
I'm sure most of you who have read this book are all swooning and cheering Ana on, "JUST TRUST HIM! HE'S HOT AND AMAZING AND WANTS TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU!!! HE'S FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOU!! TRUST HIM."
Meanwhile, I was thinking to myself that his view of trust is completely self-centered. Trust means not making a girl you have sex with sign a form saying she won't tell anybody. Trust means having an open communication with another person about what you want from the relationship, not handing her a stack of forms and a laptop and hoping she comes over to your side as a result. Trust means not swooping down on someone when they're out with their friends because you're afraid they're going to make a choice you don't approve of. In fact, up until this point, Christian, you have done nothing to build Ana's trust in you, other than demand it before you tie her up and spit in her mouth. And it certainly is not built by pressuring a young woman to enter into BDSM as a full-time lifestyle when she hasn't even had the opportunity to experiment with it in a lighter capacity.
Ugh. THIS BOOK IS GOING TO BE THE DEATH OF SOMEONE.
Ana considers if she can trust him, and then remembers Christian's temper tantrum when she called Jose.
Um, excuse me. Christian had a tantrum because Jose called you. BIG difference. But, hey, facts don't matter - now let's talk about the fact Ana needs to eat some more.
"You have to eat, Anastasia. We can eat down here or in my suite. What would you prefer?"
"I think we should stay in public, on neutral ground." He smiles sardonically.
"Do you think that would stop me?" he says softly, a sensual warning.
Excuse me? Seriously. Excuse me? Not only did he just openly threaten a rape scenario... he then declines her need for a public place and takes her to his secluded dining room he's booked. Fuck you Christian. Seriously. In the ass. With a rusty spork.
Over dinner he states that if Ana were to ever walk away from the contract, they're kaputs. Done. No questions asked. Because not having middle ground in a relationship is WAY great and totes healthy.
They get back onto the issue of trust again, and Christian says he'll earn her trust by discipline.
"Discipline. There's a very fine line between pleasure and pain Anastasia. They are two sides of the same coin, one not existing without the other. I can show you how pleasurable pain can be. You don't believe me now, but this is what I mean about trust. There will be pain, but nothing that you can't handle. Again, it comes down to trust. Do you trust me, Ana?"
Ana!
"Yes, I do." I respond spontaneously, not thinking... because it's true - I do trust him.
Why would you trust him? He's not earned it; he's done nothing to earn it. He's barely earned the right to be lumped into "regular humanity" and his only saving grace is that he at least functions somewhat in the real world.
So then the only thing Ana really argues about is the food part of the contract, because no one will tell her how to eat. How to fuck? Sure. But no one backs me into a corner when it comes to food.
Then out of nowhere Christian responds with this:
"And right now, I want to peel you out of that dress." I swallow. Peel me out of Kate's dress. I feel the pull deep in my belly. Muscles that I'm now more acquainted with clench at his words. But I can't have this. His most potent weapon, used against me again. He's so good at sex - even I've figured this out.
So, Ana is completely aware that he's using sex to manipulate her, and she's still sitting there. He openly admits to using sex to control her, like it's no big thing, because whether or not he's manipulating her, "Doesn't change how much I want you." Well, so long as you're still happy.
"If you were my sub, you wouldn't have to think about this. It would be easy." His voice is soft, seductive. "All those decisions - all the wearying thought processes behind them. The - is this this right thing to do? Should this happen here? Can it happen now? You wouldn't have to worry about any of that detail. That's what I'd do as your Dom. And right now, I know you want me, Anastasia."
If someone were to ever say this to me, I would be insulted.
Next, Christian tells Ana that he knows she's aroused because, and you're not going to believe this one, he felt the tablecloth move and he knows from years of experience that it's because she's clenching her thighs. Does Christian Grey work for the CIA? Because he tracked her cell phone, and now he's reading body language via tablecloth. Then we get a really telling paragraph from Ana:
I flush and stare down at my hands. That's what I'm hindered by in this game of seduction. He's the only one who knows and understands the rules. I'm just too naive and inexperienced. My only sphere of reference is Kate, and she doesn't take any shit from men. My other references are all fictional: Elizabeth Bennett would be outraged, Jane Eyre too frightened, and Tess would succumb, just as I have.
By now she's basically got a flashing neon sign above her head that screams "She cannot give informed consent." And let me just say, if you're a dude reading this and thinking all women are like this, I really hope you find yourself a strong independent woman to beat the shit out of you if you ever try this.
Ana decides she needs to leave, because if she stays, she'll definitely bone Christian. And Christian, being Mr. Prince Charming, how does he respond?
"I could make you stay," he threatens.
"Yes, you could easily, but I don't want you to."
He runs his hands though his hair, regarding me carefully.
"You know, when you fell into my office to interview me, you were all yes sir, no sir. I thought you were a natural born submissive. But quite frankly, Anastasia, I'm not sure you have a submissive bone in your delectable body."
So, Christian basically thought that since she was clumsy and nervous, he'd be able to exploit that as his sex fantasy. Again, women across America are resenting their husbands for NOT ACTING THIS WAY.
Great.
He leans down to kiss me, but pauses before his lips touch mine, his eyes searching mine, wanting, asking permission. I raise my lips to his, and he kisses me and because I don't know if I'll ever kiss him again, I let go - my hands moving of their own accord and twisting into his hair, pulling him to me, my mouth opening, my tongue stroking his. His hand grasps the nape of my neck as he deepens the kiss, responding to my ardor. His other hand slides own my back and flattens at the base of my spine as he pushes me against his body. "I can't persuade you to stay?" he breathes between kisses.See how he does that? She says no, he thinks, "I'll overcome her silly objections to what I want with ravishing kisses. No damsel could dare refuse me!" He is openly manipulating her, and we all know she's going to keep falling for it. Not just because I've already read the book, either. Because this is the way Ana believes the world should work. She should be pursued, like the heroine of a classic novel, and in classic novels, those heroines had very little say in how their lives would turn out. There is a reason Ana is obsessed with classic literature. It's all pre-sexual revolution. Ana wants to believe that she's helpless and unable to refuse the broodingly handsome hero, because then she won't have to think for herself. She's already mastered the art of letting everyone else steer her course through daily events, she just has to figure out how to make this whole thing with Christian seem like it's on her terms. That way, she can keep believing that she's strong and independent, without ever having to be either of those things.
"I'll escort you to the lobby." He holds out his hand. Leaning down, I grab my purse and place my hand in his. Holy crap, this could be it. I follow him meekly down the grand stairs and into the lobby, my scalp prickling, my blood pumping. This could be the last goodbye if I decide to say no.
My heart contracts painfully in my chest. What a turnaround. What a difference a moment of clarity can make to a girl.
That's it, right there. Ana isn't giving up all her aspirations for romantic love. She's having a moment of clarity. A moment of clarity that doesn't send her straight to the nearest weekly meeting, no matter how much she needs it. Christian makes a bunch of weak attempts to keep her from leaving, like giving her his jacket (so she'll have to see him again, I presume), to arguing that her car doesn't look safe (maybe she should spend the night with him after all?). To her credit, Ana resists all of these and balks at his suggestion that he buy her a car, but of course, he's going to do whatever he wants to do. Contract or no, he owns Ana, because he believes that he is entitled to every woman he wants. This is rape culture, folks. This book is rape culture, distilled to it's most potent form.
She gets home after asking for space and Christian has e-mailed her, because what does space mean to him anyway, especially when he's got a throbbing erection.
She's all angsty about this, and runs down in her mind all the things he's said about him not being boyfriend material... and as she lays in bed with her PJ's and his jacket on, she comes to this diving revelation.
SHE IS GOING TO CHANGE HIM
