(Honey, I'm not being serious. Your truck is more than enough)
Christian and Ana leave so he can take her back to her place... while on the phone with his brother (who called to ask if he
Does he?
No.
Because it's not what he prefers.
Personally, if I had ever allowed myself to get to know this Grey fellow to this amount I would tell him to piss off. If you can't do something as simple as call me by what I prefer, well buddy, take a hike. But then again, I probably would have been able to get through the initial interview, think to myself "What a dick" and never give a second thought to him.
Yes. Even though he's hot.
Good looks do not make up for total social ineptitude.
Then he warns her "I'm not kissing you again, unless I really have to think about it." Uh, okay.... Christian you are so weird.
When they get to her duplex, I shit you not, this is the conversation in her head:
He pulls up outside my duplex. I belatedly realize he's not asked me where I live - yet he knows. But then he sent the books, of course he knows where I live. What able, cell-phone-tracking, helicopter owning, stalker wouldn't.
Why won't he kiss me again? I pout at the the thought.
Maybe I hate this book because we're privy to every waking thought in Ana's mind, and it's there that I just kinda want to kick her in frontal lobe to see if I can kick start it into working again.
When we get inside the duplex Kate and Elliot (Christians brother) are there and Ana is all "UGH get a room" (you know, like a very public elevator), and she notes how compliant Kate is with Elliot... and thus Elliot must have a hold of Kate.
Um excuse me Ana but your ass is showing. Did you not just eat all the food on your plate because a certain someone wanted you too even though you didn't want to?
At some point Kate jumps up and down and claps her hands and I almost forget I'm reading a story about adults. Do you know the last time I jumped up and down and clapped my hands? When I was entertaining my 4 year old niece... not a 21 year old woman. But this could just be a pet peeve.... but, again, it's a reference to children in a very "adult" book. Sooooo I have too...
Once Kate gets Ana all purdy Ana has this inward battle if she's ready for sex. I understand this, I've been there. It's a big step... one not to be taken lightly. Currently I'm having an inner battle of whether or not I want to eat chocolate or something healthy, because I did decide to have sex and now I'm pregnant and thus all healthy eating goes out the window.
But, if I may, just state my opinion that Ana is not ready for this step. And if I were her friend I would tell her so. So far she seems pretty intimidated by Grey and hasn't been able to say no to him because of it. She has little to no self-esteem and what, I've perceived, as a very negative view of sex. And the fact she's willing to leap from first kiss to sex within seconds of meeting Grey is a little alarming considering I'm gathering she's not wanting a one night stand with him. And not to mention it takes paper work to sleep with this man....that's a mighty big red flag right there. But you know, who needs healthy relationships as long as the guy is hot? Right?
Did I mention that Grey is going to be taking her to dinner via Helicopter? Whoopsies.
Like, the amount of ego in this man baffles me.
There's a lot in this book that I think is there to just take up space...and I skimmed through it until I read that Ana felt bad about not calling Jose back.
No, that's totally okay Ana. Dude tried to get jiggy with you when you didn't want to and persisted after you said no. You can probably call him back never. You don't have to be polite about it. Aaaand again...
Once they arrive Christian tells Ana that she doesn't have to do anything she doesn't want too. I know so many of you women are like "Awww.... that's so romantic of him."
Or, you know, not. Because he knows she's not going to say no.
List of things Ana has done so far in this book that she didn't want to do:
- Interview Christian Grey
- Call Christian Grey
- Talk about Christian Grey to her roommate
- Keep the books Christian Grey gave her
- Be rescued from a bar by Christian Grey
- Finish her breakfast
- Get prettied up for Christian Grey
And I'm sure more gets added to that list.... so, I'm not buying what Christian Grey is selling. Not for one second.
Once they arrive to his apartment he offers her a glass of wine.
You can now add "Accepts wine from Christian Grey, even though she doesn't want it," to this list. Yep... Ana doesn't do anything she doesn't want to do.
You can now add "Accepts wine from Christian Grey, even though she doesn't want it," to this list. Yep... Ana doesn't do anything she doesn't want to do.
Small talk ensues and what's Christian realizes that Ana is like:
 |
| I feel kinda bad throwing Alan Rickman into this mix. But this is a hilarious gif. |
Because Ana is so ready to bone Christian she signs it without reading it, well that's smart. And then she's all "So now you make love to me right?"
And we get the most romantic thing ever from Christian...
"No, Anastasia, it doesn't. Firstly, I don't make love. I fuck... hard. Secondly, there's a lot more paperwork to do, and thirdly, you don't yet know what you're in for.
This horseshit is what women are pining after. Now don't get me wrong, sometimes my husband and I get a little frisky... well we used too.... then I got pregnant and let me just tell you, pregnancy is the biggest mood killer ever. The only thing I had to sign with him, ever, was a marriage license. He's never been all business about our sex life, because you know what, it's beneficial to us both, we enjoy it, it's an expression of our love to each other.
Why this is what women want is beyond me.
And Grey, you have more paperwork than buying a used car. Holy crap.
So what is this deep dark secret he has hiding that could send Ana running to the hills?
His "play room"
